Butterflies and Hurricanes

The other day, as I was scrollin through Perezhilton.com, a few photographic stills of a harrowing yet intriguing scene grabbed me. It was Sean Faris, shirtless and bare with some girl in black lingerie, both drenched with red, blood-like wine, in disturbingly lewd positions. I've thought Sean was hot since "Reunion", but always put him off as one of those typical "football jock bros." These photos captured a willing, raw, violent intensity of emotion that changed my mind about him - I had to find the director behind the lens:

Tyler Shields is a celebrity photographer with a seemingly disturbing psyche. He shoots storm troopers and men in mickey mouse costumes. He uses mediums such as (fake?) blood, liquor, dirt, food, fire etc to make a visual mess of his subjects. And he frequently eroticizes his subjects in sinuously sensual scenes. People might be put off/ scared by his work, but it's this sort of avant-gartistry that sticks; it either touches you or shocks you. Honestly, I'm not a fan of the bloodied work, but I love the rest - I love how he captures human emotion in a dark, minimalist manner. One of my favorite of his "video-portraits" is of a lonely, frazzled (her hair is literally frizzy) Juno Temple sitting on a stove smoking a cigarette in her pajamas. This muted black and white scene has her glare at us with piercing eyes, and then she forlornly looks down as a smokey haze surrounds herself. I can easily see this scene in a movie - the character all down and dejected cuz of some drama; a video portrait sets the scene for great characterization.

Check out this video that captures his 2009 moments:

I feel as if scenes like this move me now because I'm sort of in an angsty faze that missed me in high school. I'm in a phase where I'm finding romance in darkness. But don't expect me to be wearing black and white strips, rockin the hot topic look...

"a moment, a love, a dream aloud"

On this shivery, slushy, slippery day, I walked a mile from COM to fit rec, walked on a cardio step for 1hr 15min (yeah cardio step and ab lab!), walked back to CAS, walked home, walked onto the Fenway T (whew!) and walked to work. I estimate that I've walked a shit ton of miles since going to BU, but ever since I started using my iPod, I look forward to all these steps I'm taking to listen to songs. Despite the shitty weather, the "(500) Days of Summer" soundtrack sweetened my day and brightened my disposition.

I love that movie so much, and what I think makes it so special is its use of music. Songs alone can evoke intense emotion, penetrating our cores - you know a song is good when it hits that right rhythm, true tone, magical melody - it's your jam in da club!!! But when you add visuals - gahhh - i absolutely gushh when the song makes the scene on the screen reverberate what its singing to what your seeing - it just adds another dimension that I wish I could describe in music video form. Marc Webb, the man I like to call genius director, directed countless music videos according to Wikipedia.org, so it's not surprising that (500) days feels like a montage of meaningful musical scenes. (btw I aliterate too much). When I'm listening to the soundtrack, it's like I'm reliving the movie.

When I'm listening to "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and Oates, I cannot help smiling from the inside and wanting to break out in dance (not just because of FSA Kamayan '09 routine). When I hear "Hero," I picture the double screen shot of Tom's expectations vs. reality where reality bitch-slaps away expectations to Regina Spektor's lamenting shouts of "cheatin, cheatin, cheatin!" And when I listen to "Vagabond", I cheer for Tom getting over his depression, literally clearing for himself a blank slate that is his bedroom wall, symbolically/really building himself up as an architect - I see that beautifully fast-forwarded scene where he sketches the city skyline from day to dusk and a tangerine sun waving by in the background.

2010 Resolution #6: Be gifted the (500) Days of Summer Movie

;D

vintage wayfarers

I really don't want this blog to be one of my transient obsessions. It's my nature to be easily fascinated about something - then learn, research, feed on, breath it - to then move onto the next thing. Right now, I've been non-stop watching Weeds ever since Kelsey and Morgan got me hooked... but that's not what I want to talk about. Why do I easily get bored of things? I'm so easily amused, quickly enthralled by new things - but as I get older I'm overcome with longer states of ennui. But then I go through newer measures to chase that entertainment. I'm not reckless by any means - it's usually a nerdy entertainment, like my goal to see every Christian Bale film or HP FanFiction. That is such a lame statement. I'm not afraid to admit it because I'm just telling the truth - but this extends pass what you can google. I'm bored with my life... I'm not sure if that's exactly it, but I guess more accurately put - I'm being desensitized.

I think I'm being desensitized by my growing cynicism. It's also my nature to think positively, and I still am like that, but I'm holding on to a thin sliver of truth connecting me to that exuberance of innocence. I recognize more knowledge doesn't necessarily lead to less amusement in life, but wasn't it magical when you knew that present was from santa, or burgers more delicious when you don't think about slaughtered animals, or water more refreshing when you don't realize there is water scarcity in 3rd world countries etc... Maybe I'm being to extreme, but I could go on and on. I don't usually think about these things - and you can't live a positive life seeing the glass half empty. But what I've realized is that everything is about perception. A glass half full is the same as a glass half empty. Just like a marijuana enthusiast could be the same thing as a pothead burnout. I'm not hatin', just sayin'.

What I am hatin' on is the nature of knowledge - I love knowing things, I like learning, I'm not the smartest person I know - but I'm starting to realize that the more I learn, the more distrustful I become, and I can't take everything I hear as absolute truth. I'm learning to weed out the information thrown at me. There's a bias in almost everything. People always see things differently, through different colored lenses, highlighting nuanced features in the same scene. And as long as the sun shines and illumination burns, we can never take those lenses off. I'm not saying that enlightenment is dangerous, but I am saying it's the nature of knowledge because everything is a perception. I want to take those glasses off and see truth.

Enough pessimism for now. Seems awkward to subsequently add to my 2010 Resolution list, but I've got to jot it down. I don't call them New Year's Resolutions because how many people keep them? I will keep these:

2010 Resolution #1: Love Art

2010 Resolution #2: Only purchase patterned, colorful items of clothing in hopes to curb my shopping and transform my GAPtastic wardrobe.

2010 Resolution #3: I cannot watch television on a regular TV, unless it is international news.

2010 Resolution #4: Exercise for my future 50 year old body, in hopes that my then self would be thanking my now self for her milf/gilf physique.

2010 Resolution #5: Keep on adding to my Resolutions.