vintage wayfarers

I really don't want this blog to be one of my transient obsessions. It's my nature to be easily fascinated about something - then learn, research, feed on, breath it - to then move onto the next thing. Right now, I've been non-stop watching Weeds ever since Kelsey and Morgan got me hooked... but that's not what I want to talk about. Why do I easily get bored of things? I'm so easily amused, quickly enthralled by new things - but as I get older I'm overcome with longer states of ennui. But then I go through newer measures to chase that entertainment. I'm not reckless by any means - it's usually a nerdy entertainment, like my goal to see every Christian Bale film or HP FanFiction. That is such a lame statement. I'm not afraid to admit it because I'm just telling the truth - but this extends pass what you can google. I'm bored with my life... I'm not sure if that's exactly it, but I guess more accurately put - I'm being desensitized.

I think I'm being desensitized by my growing cynicism. It's also my nature to think positively, and I still am like that, but I'm holding on to a thin sliver of truth connecting me to that exuberance of innocence. I recognize more knowledge doesn't necessarily lead to less amusement in life, but wasn't it magical when you knew that present was from santa, or burgers more delicious when you don't think about slaughtered animals, or water more refreshing when you don't realize there is water scarcity in 3rd world countries etc... Maybe I'm being to extreme, but I could go on and on. I don't usually think about these things - and you can't live a positive life seeing the glass half empty. But what I've realized is that everything is about perception. A glass half full is the same as a glass half empty. Just like a marijuana enthusiast could be the same thing as a pothead burnout. I'm not hatin', just sayin'.

What I am hatin' on is the nature of knowledge - I love knowing things, I like learning, I'm not the smartest person I know - but I'm starting to realize that the more I learn, the more distrustful I become, and I can't take everything I hear as absolute truth. I'm learning to weed out the information thrown at me. There's a bias in almost everything. People always see things differently, through different colored lenses, highlighting nuanced features in the same scene. And as long as the sun shines and illumination burns, we can never take those lenses off. I'm not saying that enlightenment is dangerous, but I am saying it's the nature of knowledge because everything is a perception. I want to take those glasses off and see truth.

Enough pessimism for now. Seems awkward to subsequently add to my 2010 Resolution list, but I've got to jot it down. I don't call them New Year's Resolutions because how many people keep them? I will keep these:

2010 Resolution #1: Love Art

2010 Resolution #2: Only purchase patterned, colorful items of clothing in hopes to curb my shopping and transform my GAPtastic wardrobe.

2010 Resolution #3: I cannot watch television on a regular TV, unless it is international news.

2010 Resolution #4: Exercise for my future 50 year old body, in hopes that my then self would be thanking my now self for her milf/gilf physique.

2010 Resolution #5: Keep on adding to my Resolutions.