"the pain passes, but the beauty remains"

When I was hanging out with Antonio and Erica a few nights ago, he put into words what I've always felt about good art but could never really describe: "good art stays with you". Art in the form of creative expression in different medias has been circulating in my mind especially since then. One of my 12 goals of Christmas is to read good literature (which BTW i managed to check out 1984 and i've started reading Noam's What We Says Goes which so far is extremely enlightening - i'll get back to that later...). I regard good fiction and even non-fiction as art in the level of mastery the author chooses the right words, diction, syntax etc. to perfectly, poignantly convey their mood - their message. It's hard to write, but when it's right - it's beautiful.

However, I'm starting to appreciate, or realize my appreciation of visual art. I think naturally, images stick with me, and If you know me well enough - you know the world around me shuts off when I'm watching, concentrating on the latest tv show/ film (Gossip Girl!). I think I'm a visual learner, and I would love to take an art history course, but I'm sure it won't fit into my future schedules. But I love that BU gives us free admission to the MFA at anytime, and Mimi and I took advantage of that yesterday in our day trip to the Museum.

Mimi + Dance at Bougival

This is one of my favorite paintings. I especially remember it because of that one Gilmore Girls episode where Lorelai had to pose as the girl in the red hat. But it's not just that - I love impressionism. I love that it inspired an innovative abstractness - that i'm sure's responsible for inspiring all this unconventional art we see in modern day. I've liked it ever since that 3rd grade project where I had to pose as Mary Cassatt. I love that strokes and colors can convey so much in one image. When I look at this painting, I see an elusive cheerful innocence in the lightness of the girl and something mysterious/foreboding about the darkness of the dude. So many more words can describe it - and it's hard for me to pin it.

2010 Resolution #1: LOVE art.

"The work of art must seize upon you, wrap you up in itself and carry you away. It is the means by which the artist conveys his passion. It is the current which he puts forth, which sweeps you along in his passion" - Renoir.

Sparkle and Shine

Just so you know, AVATAR was an aqua, purple, blue, sparkly, glowing visually ammazing movie.

But right now, I'm in pennsylvania, on my uncle's black leather couch directly in front of his large, flat screen, surrounded by food and uncles, aunts and cousins still in their pajamas. My little 3 year old cousin Rona is standing next to me in her light pink night gown, patterned with brown monkeys with wide smiles. She's asking me, "Who made that Chrismas Twee?" to the left of me. The (fake) evergreen is embellished with wide, translucent ribbons that are sparkled with outlines of glittered holly amongst the gold, pearly ornaments. I took pictures of the tree last night when it was lit last night with my new digital camera. Yes, I finally have a camera, and I'm quite excited to explore all of its simple features. Last night, I played around with it's long exposure feature, and I was able to capture extra twinkle of the christmas tree lights. I'm easily amused. I'll upload the pictures later :D

Uncle Ryan's flat screen is displaying men's figure skating. The performer on the ice is a flamboyant, somewhat awkwardly ungraceful dude with gelled, shaggy brown hair, wearing a tight, black t-shirt with a red-bejewled Rolling Stone's tongue and black pleather pants, with red sparkles that capture the extra twinkle as he nails his triple toe loop flipity flips... I'm no figure skating expert, but his interpretation of "Start me Up" is reminding me a lot of Chazz Michael Michaels. Still, he was able to perform all his tricks without falling, and his awkward nature stands out amongst all the other graceful, glitzy, glittered guys.

Looking back at all the holidays I've spent, especially the more recent ones, I've noticed I've been jaded or disillusioned by the holidays. In years past, I hated the commercialized consumerism pushed upon us. I resented the snow and cold that dulled my senses. And as much as I hate to admit, I was ungrateful for the presents that showed that my family missed the mark. I missed when I was 3 years old, when I was purely excited that Santa gave me that shiny, colorful xylophone whose twinkly tones struck my tiny core. I missed the magic that the holidays never measured up to since when I was younger.

But somehow this year is different. I don't know how to explain it, but this year I'm hopeful. The snow and cold is here, but I love it. I love it because it sparkles. I love the shine that reminds me of more than it's cold nature. I love the warmth of a fireside glow with hot cocoa and peppermint, especially when I know there's cold, snow out there. I love how my furry trapper hat and shiny, puffy coat keep me warm. I love the excuse to wear sequins and silver and shine to offset the perceived dullness of winter and bare branches. I have no idea honestly what is spurring this on, but maybe it's the fact my mom got me exactly what I wanted this year. I'm joking. I've been feeling like this ever since the first slushy snow of the year, when I wrote about the tangerine sunset, creeping behind the snow-lined branches. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and appreciate that there's beauty in everything. When there's tears around the corner, eyes shine brighter. I realize that might miss the mark, but my point is - I've realized that things glow brighter in the dark.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS y'all!!!

Post-Edit:

12 Goals of Christmas

Once again, I'm sitting in my apartment living room, for what may be technically the last time this year. Right now the olive draperies (that are missing a curtain rod and ghetto-ly hung :/) are closed, blocking out the day, save for a small opening that allows me to see the strange mix of snow flurries floating and racing in literally every direction. It's a small sliver of insight to the outside, definitely confirming a blizzard that's probably pestering all those college students whose flights home are being rescheduled. I'm sure it's a trending topic on Boston-area tweeters and facebookers. I know Antoinette's flight got re-scheduled and she'll be arriving on christmas day :( .

Yesterday, after Ashley showed me her new obsession (besides Jacob Black), we were inspired to leave ammmazing videos of our "Baby it's Cold Outside" performances that I wish I could share right now. It reminds me of my ENCORE! days. I'm sure I've told many a folk about my middle school show choir, and even performed snippets for them... It's probably not an impressive story, but show and singing and sparkle are Hott now- GLEE anyone?

Today, I'll be going home and leaving this apartment that I've grown accustomed. For some reason, I'm not as excited about going home as I feel I should be, but I've decided to create a list of goals I can look forward to accomplishing:

1. Catch up on Lost. I stopped watching the series mid-3rd season, but I intend to start from the beginning. That means 121 episodes at about 42 minutes each = about 3 1/2 days worth of television. This is no megavideo endeavor.

2.3.4. Finish reading Lolita, A Clockwork Orange and 1984. I seriously have a problem where I start books, but return them to the library (overdue) without finishing them. I purchased Lolita from Urban Outfitters on sale so It will be happening.

5. Work out every day for at least 30 minutes. We watched Sex and the City yesterday, and that woman who plays Samantha is 50 years old. I wanna be her 30 years from now, aside from the whole being annoyingly snooty thing...

6. Make bank working at GAP and not spend it all till my Christmas shopping credit card debts have been paid. Yeah, It's kind of bad, but I'm learning.

7. Read a book by Noam Chomsky. I'm not gonna lie, I recognized his name as when browsing through books at Newbury Comics the other day, but I had no idea why he was important until I asked Antoinette. I've always believed that language shapes thought, so I'll want to read into that.

8. Greet the Sun w/ my Sun Salutations everyday. Yep, I'm doing yoga.

9. Watch Avatar. That movie looks fucking epically enchanted - I hope it'll live up to my expectations. Maybe I'll have an added goal of watching a James Cameron Marathon. Terminator II and Titanic in the same night, anyone?? Btw I always mix up James with Cameron Crowe - not who they are, but their names all the time. I effin love Say Anything and Almost Famous. Maybe I'll add that to my list.

10. Spend individual quality time with my friends. Heart to Hearts people!!!. <3>

11. Spend quality time with family. With Mimi, Mama and Poppy. And perhaps I'll make a trip to Maryland. I haven't seen Papa Kiks and Grandma Ems in such a long time. Maybe I'll see Mon if she'll have me.

12. Work on my New Year's Resolutions.

Have a GREAT BREAK ERRBODY!

Creative (Cheap) Pasta Usage of the Day

Ingredients: shell pasta (still from September's CostCo Trip), canned spinach, butter, sun-dried tomato cream cheese, salt and pepper for taste.

It's surprising not as disgusting as it sounds, and I eat ketchup with everything. I'm trying to cut back on grocery shopping till break. I still have 3/4 carton of eggs, 1 box of pasta and canned sweet peas. That'll last me a few days :)

Apparently My Grammar Sucks

I'm in our living room now, the bright afternoon sun is glowing through our thick, shiny, olive noise-reducing curtains. My plan for today was to quickly head to the apartment, grab lunch and go directly to the gym. But like always, my impulsive, undisciplined nature gets the best of me. And I couldn't get Betty's comments on my paper out of my head.

This is not the first time teachers have criticized my writing, and I don't take offense to it. Like I've said - I always wait until the last minute and I have never really edited my papers. And Betty's comments have made me realize that I do not have a firm grasp of English grammar, especially when it comes to prepositions (how da fuck do I use from/to/with/of/against/etc.?). And if I want to major in COM, I need to get my act together. So I guess I'll start number 1 on my New Year's Resolutions: 1. go to the writing center every time I hand in a paper.

I be out,

Bonn

lazy sunday, wake up in the late afternoon

It's 4pm, the early signs of a hazy, auburn sunset are creeping up from behind the silhouettes of surrounding apartment buildings and snow-lined tree branches. I'm currently chilling, still in my pajamas, with a few of my roommates and Jessie's hospitality team. It's relaxed, with Usher's spotlight beating in the background. Pretty much a 180 from last night's rager...

After D1 Cookie's and Cocoa event, I headed to APO's Ibanquet. I took home 3 tins filled with leftover pasta and bread nom! This definitely cured some drunkchies later on in the night. However, it was a total trek having to carry this considerably heavy cardboard box filled with food in the super slushy blizzard that surprised us last night. I only had my thin blazer and scarf wrapped around my head for protection. Sadly, my black suede heeled boots became super acquainted with slippery slushy puddle ground. Don't you hate uncomfortable, heavy, wet and cold journeys? Luckily, I was not alone and Sarah and Katie helped me out :) .

But as we approached 447, we witnessed an angry couple screaming, shouting at each other loud enough to disturb neighbors and stop groups of people in their (slushy) tracks. She tried to escape him, he grabbed at her, shouting threats, "I'll kill you!...". He manically sprinted to catch up to her. I remember thinking, this could've been one of those situations meaning disaster for that girl. Luckily the cops showed up. And I was ready to head home.

As I approached the steps toward 3C, the loud shouts and pounding music reverberated closer and hit me as I walked through. It was definitely a majority brown people party. An interesting night filled with drama, creepers, and despite our cautionary welcome sign, bitches and hos...

Peace and cupcakes,

Bonn

"Don't let the blowout fool yah..."

I've been sitting on our black, plush futon just chillin w/ my roomies, in my pajajays. Been here long enough that we've caught up on all the episodes of MTV's Jersey Shore...twice. I feel like I deserve to be a lazy poop after having spent 28 hours awake straight! effin HI 392 damnit. Actually, I like the class, and Betty only took 1/3 of a grade off for my late paper. I guess I'm just mad that for once, procrastination did not work for me. All of last semester and basically my entire life - I've procrastinated till the last minute and it has always miraculously worked for me - waking up hours before it's due, pulling all nighters, frantically typing my last words and hitting print literally the last moment... I've finished papers in lecture before it was due, sprinting to the print lab to get it in tangible form just minutes before - and it's worked. I used to love that push from the pressure of diminishing time. It forced me to do it! But, now it's too exhausting for me... yet, I don't know if I'll stop. Procrastinating is too fun.

I tend to use my would-be useful time online window shopping and fashion blogstalking. Lately, suede wedges have been on my wish list. As I was working at Expresso Royal yesterday, hyped on a triple cafe americano and half an expresso (which btw is not a good combination for a non caffeine junkie), I spotted a girl sporting a strong, simple navy blue peacoat with bold brass buttons and a bold collar AND black suede wedge booties with silver zippers in the back of the heel. I think that look might've been good enough for Scott Schuman. What I love about this wedge is how a familiar shape gets transformed into a unique, bold aesthetic . Plus you get a more comfortable heel. We've all seen spring appropriate espadrille wedges - but cover that with black and/or suede and you go from sweet to fierce.

Right now I'm loving these:

BTW I'm listening to Solange's version of Stillness Is the Move. Sometimes new takes on originals are much better.

"... I'm not a bitch"

Peace and <3

real eye sensations

HELLO!

Bonnie here. I'm currently sitting at a desk on the third floor of MUGAR library, needing to start my history paper... but lately my thoughts have been racing so much that i've decided to channel them into blog form. I'm convincing myself that this will actually save me time in doing my ASSignment because I'm a very distracted person. Today, I was sitting in MA 213 and I felt compelled to write to scribble this into my notebook:

Race to finish-

As soon as that red ribbon

wrapped and broke upon her beating chest,

she looked backwards, gasped regret.

She left behind that playful,

little girl with the bright pink bow

perfectly placed upon her happy head.

Winter/ Xmas times tend to get me nostalgic. I know I'm still young, but I feel like I've spent a great deal of my youth trying to be older, trying to reach what i thought embodied adult independence. I thought independence would lead to freedom, but I'm starting think that becoming an adult sort of forces you to relinquish freedom in a way. I'm referring to thoughts being less open. My views are becoming rigid, less optimistic and critical. And now, I miss the magic of being amused by everrryyything, believing that anything could happen. As I get older, less and less things become fun. Well, I guess I could look forward to getting excited about deals at Bed, Bath and Beyond!

POST-EDIT:

Just got back from counter-protest of Westboro Baptist Church near Hillel that got transfered to Marsh Plaza. I'm still not solid on the merits of "counter" protesting. Though i'm sure there were sensationalism junkies out there, it brings people together, and the WBC is quite crazy. I can't quite get the image of the little boy holding that sign, "Your Rabbi is a WHORE". These protests remind me of my Laramie Project days... I wouldn't mind going back. Weird. I've been saying since freshman year that i would never go back to high school.

ohk back to work...

less than three, bonnie